If you’re experiencing a string of toxic partners in your life, this is for you!
In today’s episode of Q&A, Clément riffs on the very common difficulty of finding people that are in our best interests. Clément talks about how many times when we end up with someone that isn’t good for us, it’s because we ignored the warning signs or we didn’t get to know them as well as we should have before we signed up for a relationship.
[00:00:01] Hello there and welcome to another Q&A with myself. Clément Yeung. I’m your host. And today I’m going to answer the following question. What are the requirements for a successful relationship? Now on the show, I talk a lot about, important stuff. And nice to haves as well. So this might be the first time that I’m really talking about the fundamental requirements.
[00:00:24] What is it that you absolutely need to make a relationship work? Long-term this is a long-term by the way, because it’s not, it doesn’t matter so much for short term, and I’m going to explain why. So the two things that I would say are values and principles.
[00:00:39] Values and principles are the most important requirements. You can’t have a longterm relationship without them because beyond being attracted to someone, to the point where you actually want to start a conversation and see what they’re like, and then to having built rapport, and some kind of connection where you [00:01:00] can safely say, I like being around this person.
[00:01:03] And I think there might be something there. The next things that you need to be aware of are, do you align in terms of values and principles. Now values are things like: I value kindness, compassion and empathy. I value freedom of speech. I value women’s rights these are all values and they’re aspirational, which is good because, that’s what we’re aiming for is to have aspirational values. Principles are things like, I believe that we should be the best parents possible so that our children grow up to be the best versions of themselves.
[00:01:41] Or I believe in being frugal or at least responsible with my money so that I can save for a rainy day so that when something happens, I can take care of it. Now you can see how important values and principles are because if you don’t align with your partner, there’s [00:02:00] going to be friction in the relationship and not the good kind either.
[00:02:04] I have a really childish sense of humor and let me take the last one is an example. So I said something about saving for a rainy day. I see this everywhere I go. I see people posting about their significant other saying they don’t care about the bills. They don’t care about the fact that we have things to pay for.
[00:02:23] They don’t save, I’m paying for everything, and I really love them, but it’s such a huge burden and I don’t know what to do, please help. I see that all the time. You might like to think money. Isn’t a huge deal, but it’s not necessarily the money that’s the deal, it’s the effort. It’s the kind of importance that you give to this principle of being able to pay for your share to be able to support each other.
[00:02:52] Now, I’m not going to tell you how to manage your roles and responsibilities within a relationship, but you have to be [00:03:00] able to meet and have that kind of conversation and investigate with each other. What are your values and principles? And do they necessarily align with mine because they necessarily should, they are very necessary.
[00:03:17] And people can change, like interests are fine, they make things fun. So let’s say you enjoy watching the same movies or you enjoy going to the same events or you enjoy quality time together, or you really enjoy having sex. And all of that is really great, but it’s not enough to have a long-term relationship, because again, these are the things that are governing your decisions from going from a to B, where you are now to where you want to be.
[00:03:49] And if someone’s going to get in the way of that, then it’s gonna make you frustrated. And you’re eventually not going to be able to maintain that because it’s not sustainable. So I [00:04:00] hope that this has helped let us know in the comments, let us know what other things do you want us to answer?
[00:04:05] And I’ll see you in the next one. Take care.
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