In episode 25, Clément talks about how easy it can be to slip into a routine of bad communication, leading to unnecessary complications and problems in relationships. Sometimes the simplest of things like being transparent and open with your partner, feel like the most complicated. If this sounds like you and your relationship, listen to the episode for insight.
[00:00:01] Hello there. Welcome to another episode of QA with myself. I’m Clément Yeung, and I’m your host. And today I want to talk to you about communication. Now. There’s no specific question I’m answering today, but what I’m seeing as I go around the internet in my little groups and my places, my load bubbles, where I like to answer questions about relationships, Quora, Facebook, Instagram, and seeing a lot of women asking, Hey, I’m thinking and feeling this is what I’m seeing happening in the relationship.
[00:00:31] How do I bring it up with my partner and someone will comment. “Girl, you just need to open your mouth and speak.” And you’re like, okay, you’re thinking to yourself, that’s really blunt. And that might not be the best advice, but then you also think it is good advice, right? Why wouldn’t you be able to bring up what it is that’s on your mind?
[00:00:52] Why wouldn’t you be able to create a dialogue about what you care about and what you’re noticing, and maybe the needs that you need? Sorry, the needs [00:01:00] that are not being met, that you want to bring to your partner’s attention. And I have a theory. It’s not really a theory, but I think it’s on a case by case basis.
[00:01:09] But I think in general, if you’re worried about how to talk about something with your partner, it’s not because the thing you want to talk about is necessarily complicated or difficult to talk about. It’s more because you haven’t established with your partner, a safe. Line of communication. Now, what do I mean by that?
[00:01:31]At the beginning of a relationship, you’re in a honeymoon phase, right? Everything is great. You can’t wrong. Each other. You’re the perfect person that ever existed. And so the problem starts when the honeymoon is begins to end, you start to see the real person you’ve been dating, the real partner, farts, warts, and all, but along with that, If you’re not careful and you’re not diligent and you don’t have awareness of what’s actually going [00:02:00] on, you can slip into a routine where for example, if talking about difficult subjects causes frustration with either one of the partners, if you shrug off your initial, like reason for speaking about it and you say, okay, we’ll just do it another day.
[00:02:20] I, if you’re going to give in to their kind of frustration and annoyance, because you don’t want to upset them and you don’t want the conflict, then what might happen over time is that you might keep giving those concessions and you might keep putting it off because you don’t like it when your partner is like that.
[00:02:38] You see what I’m saying? And so what many relationships end up are I can’t talk about this with my partner could be guy, could be the woman. Could be the league, mostly guys, because guys, I find it difficult to talk about relationship related content, but I keep seeing content cause we’re a content creator.
[00:02:54] It’s not content relationship issues. Yeah. But it could be either partner. And so [00:03:00] what you have to do if you’re in the, that situation where you’ve let it slide and now you’re in a situation where you can’t bring it up easily. You have to break the ice. You have to start somewhere. And my recommendation to you is if there’s something of sensitivity that you have to talk about, and you’re not used to talking about those things, because there is that emotion that you don’t want to aggravate on the other side.
[00:03:24] Wait until you’re in a situation where it’s safe. Wait until you’re happy. You’ve both been laughing about something you’ve been having a good time, right? You’ve both cuddling. You’re both. And look into their eyes, right? Don’t act scared. Don’t act don’t trigger them. Don’t remind them that this is something you don’t do.
[00:03:45] Just nonchalantly say, Hey, you know what? I noticed that blah, blah, blah, or do it in your own special way. That works right to be charming. Be fun. Be. It’s if it’s a [00:04:00] serious issue, then obviously this is going to be a little bit more of a challenge, but if it’s something that, you can find the humor in, or you can, okay, we’ll pull it off as a joke, then pull it off as something a little bit more humorous, a little bit more lighthearted, try and make it as easy as possible for your partner to engage in that conversation.
[00:04:19] And then you’ve already started and you can get to the end of it. So I hope that helps you. I hope that this has been of some value. I know it’s very difficult to have these conversations, but with the right approach and with persistence, and don’t give up on yourself because it takes two to tango in a relationship.
[00:04:36] If you’re having trouble and your partner doesn’t want to talk about it, that’s not your problem. That’s not your fault. Okay. These things need to be discussed. So I hope that this helps you let us know in the comments. If you found it useful, let us know if you want us to cover anything specifically and I’ll see you on the next one.
[00:04:52] Take care.
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